Dating when should you sleep with him
D., sexologist and author of , is that the first time isn't always representative of what sex will be like: "It can get better as people learn about each other's bodies and speak up about their needs."Sometimes you meet a guy and the vibe is so hot you know the sex will be too. Because heat and hormones can be mistaken for true affinity, says Atwood.
"Look ahead and think, OK, this feels wonderful, but where will we be tomorrow or the next day? D., Laura's sister and codirector of the Female Sexual Medicine Center at UCLA, suggests a practical technique for avoiding impulsive decisions: "In the midst of a potentially risky situation, develop a habit of asking yourself, Do I care if this guy never calls me again?
In either case, we're off balance instead of being in that relationship comfort zone where both parties desire each other in roughly the same way and to the same degree.
The longer you wait, Atwood says, the clearer your sense of where you stand with him is, which helps you decide what you want to do next.
But for every one of those fairy tales, I've heard 150 stories from women who've started down that road and didn't end up in the loving relationship they wanted."Asking yourself whether you're having sex too soon, Atwood hastens to point out, doesn't mean catapulting back to the days when women weren't entitled to be as freely, truly, madly and deeply sexual as men.
"It's about too soon' for your own well-being and happiness," she says, "not too soon' in the eyes of the world." Laura Berman, Ph.
"Many women act based on who they were rather than who they are now," says New Jersey-based life coach and counselor Jeree Wade.
But understanding the deeper reasons we might be jumping into bed too soon can head off unhappy endings.
But, she warns, the heaviness can catch up with you by the time you wake up the next morning.