Insecurities in dating
And your STUPIDITY is ANNOYING me.” The signs of insecurity were there, but I missed them.If I had taken a moment to stop and consider why she was wanting my help, it would have changed the entire evening.Those that struggle with this one don’t view themselves as smart as other people.
They don’t feel okay with who they are and live with the belief that when their husband really comes to know who they are they won’t want to be with them.One of the things that I discovered through various relationships and not just romantically, is that you can share information about yourself but as soon as it leaves your mouth, you have no control over how it will be perceived and what impact it will make on that relationship.I remember a couple of exes telling me that because of my fraught relationship with my mother back then, that there must be something “wrong” with me.I’m frequently asked how to deal with sharing past experiences or ‘revealing’ insecurities – the healthiest type of information sharing is the type that doesn’t have the quiet agenda of generating a specific emotion or action out of a person. Are you trying to draw empathy but actually getting it mixed up and still trying to draw sympathy?
Whatever you impart, you’re comfortable with it, you’re at peace with it (or are on the way to being so), and it’s part of your emotional honesty. Are you even being manipulative in that you hope that this new found knowledge will quietly coerce them into changing their position or even their behaviour/character? Often when people ‘share’ their past, hurt or insecurity, it’s like “Please don’t hurt me!Rather than lay out all of your insecurities and pour out various ‘Hurt Stories’, it would be better to address the insecurities and make peace with the painful incidences so that when you do talk about these things, you’re talking about something that’s in the past.