Race and dating online online dating site and penpals
And because of that, I think actually people become much more superficial than we think they are. It turns out, women really care about men's height. At the same time, it turns out that men care a lot about women’s BMI’s.I’m 5’9”, if I wanted to be as attractive as somebody who’s 5’10”, right, another inch? In fact, they want women to be slightly anorexic, at like 18-1/2.And you could see lots of stuff, there were pictures and images and there were words and there movies and there were bands, there was all kinds of stuff, and you could go and when you came to another little avatar, you could start chatting.And you would chat about something, it wasn’t about interviewing when you went to school and what’s your religion; it was about talking about something else and it turns out it gave people much more information about each other, and they were much more likely to want to meet each other for a first date and for a second date.In fact, when we do surveys to understand what people do, the basic trade off is for each six hours of searching for people and emailing them, you get one cup of coffee.And it's not as if people enjoy online dating, it's not as if they have fun searching people and writing blurbs for them.I mean, imagine that you basically had to drive six hours, three hours each way to have coffee with somebody, and, you know, coffee usually ends up with just coffee. So I think it's a really bad, it's a really bad system.
And through all these kind of non-explicit aspects, I will learn something about you and I would feel that I’m learning something about you.
" And I took people that I liked more and I liked less, and I took their profile and I tried to figure out could I tell the difference? Imagine you went to 50 people you really like and 50 people you only like so-so, and you asked all of them to fill this profile, then you took this 100 profiles and you tried to sort them out into piles. And then went a step further, did some studies with online daters about how much they enjoyed it and what they were getting from it, until the final stage, we, I figured out, I thought I knew what was going on, which is that online dating sites assume that people are easy to describe on searchable attributes.
They think that we’re like digital cameras, that you can describe somebody by their height and weight and political affiliation and so on. That when you taste the wine, you could describe it, but it’s not a very useful description. And it’s the complexity and the completeness of the experience that tells you if you like a person or not.
Question: What's wrong with the experience of online dating?
Dan Ariely: I think that online dating is an incredibly unsatisfying experience.They’re not about sitting in the room and interviewing each other about questions; they’re often about experiencing something together in the real world.